


things you said with too many miles between us

by internetakeover (nymeriahale)



Series: prompt fills [10]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 2009!phan, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriahale/pseuds/internetakeover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>six snapshots from 2009-2015, written for the prompt: 'things you said with too many miles between us'</p>
            </blockquote>





	things you said with too many miles between us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popsongnation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popsongnation/gifts).



> originally posted on [tumblr](http://internetakeover.tumblr.com/post/138085561297/what-if-i-send-you-all-of-these-prompts-but)

**05/10/2009**  


‘Is it stupid that I miss you?’ Dan asks, voice quiet, almost hoping not to be heard over their dodgy Skype connection. It’s 3am, and they’ve been talking for 4 hours now. Dan sometimes feels like he knows Phil better than he knows himself, and he knows Phil knows him better than anyone else, but they haven’t actually met yet. ‘I’ve never met you irl but I feel like I miss you anyway,’ Dan goes on, verbalising his doubts perhaps foolishly.

‘If it is then we’re both stupid,’ Phil replies, equally soft, slow smile spreading across his face. 

The sight of it, the idea that they’re on the same page, fills Dan with courage. ‘I want to meet you so much.’

‘Me too,’ says Phil, still soft, almost dreamy. It's probably because he's half asleep, but Dan doesn’t let that deter him.

‘No, I mean. Let’s stop just saying it,’ Dan continues, sitting more upright. ‘Let’s stop saying it, let’s actually do it. I’m free almost all the time, and so are you. I want to meet you.’

‘Yeah,’ Phil nods, blinking, and Dan was right - he must have been mostly asleep. He’s waking up now though, smile switching to a wide grin. ‘How does the end of October look for you?’

‘Too far away,’ Dan replies promptly, laughs. 

They’re actually doing this.

**06/02/2010**

Phil sighs heavily, glances at the clock. It’s 11:48am and he hasn’t heard from Dan in just over 20 hours now. That shouldn’t be unreasonable, really, but they’re normally in some form of contact every few hours, and Phil could swear he’d felt the distance between them growing from the instant Dan had boarded the plane to India. Not knowing if not Dan will have wifi at his hotel or if they’ll be unable to speak for a whole two weeks definitely isn’t helping matters.

_is it stupid that i miss you?_ he types slowly into their Skype chat - the text chat they so rarely use - sending it before he can talk himself out of it. Dan will like to see it, he knows, no matter how daft he feels being unable to handle not even a day without contact. He’ll feel even stupider if they do have to go the whole two weeks without speaking, but hopefully it won’t come to that.

Phil sighs again, shaking his head after thirty seconds of staring doesn’t magically bring Dan online, instructs himself to minimise the window and do something productive for a change. Well, or he could just watch Buffy...

Three episodes of Buffy later the Skype window chimes, and Phil scrambles to open it. This time, this time it must be Dan. PJ had messaged him earlier - Phil not checking his phone for once - and Phil hadn’t been able to hide his frustration that it wasn’t Dan. He’d been thoroughly laughed at for missing Dan so much when PJ had figured it out, and he hopes Dan won’t do the same.

_i miss you tooo!! <333_ the new text reads, and Phil sighs in relief, knowing he was stupid to fear anything else.

_dan: just got to the hotel after tea and apparently we have to go ~straight to sleep_  
_dan: but finally means i can actually go online! + let u know that i *have* online! wifi is slow but works!!_ _dan: wasn’t allowed earlier :((_  
_phil: yayyyy for wifi!! *happy dance*_  
_dan: wanted to talk to u <33_  
_phil: awww!! ^.^_  
_phil: always want to talk to u <333_  
_dan: i’d call but my brother’s in the room_  
_dan: and im soooo tired actually_

Phil checks the time, frowning.

_phil: isn’t it only like 7pm?_  
_dan: yh but we slept through the night_  
_dan: fuck_  
_dan: *flew!! through the night_  
_dan: and u know i can’t sleep on planes_  
_phil: yh_  
_phil: is it stupid that it feels worse that u’re so far away?_

Phil cringes almost immediately after sending the message. They’d be talking online anyway, it makes literally no difference. Just because he feels further from Dan doesn’t mean Dan will share the same odd sentiment.

_dan: no same!!_

Phil grins, growing brave enough to type his next daft sappy thought in.

_phil: i felt like i could feel you flying away from me :’’’(_  
_phil: wokingham is bad enough!_  
_dan: u know i’m 200x further away from u now??_  
_phil: yh i checked_  
_dan: ...we’re pathetic /o\_  
_dan: but ilu!!_  
_phil: ilu too!!_

Phil grins to himself, feeling stupidly better just for seeing three letters on a screen, for knowing he’s not alone in this feeling.

_dan: ugh bro says he can’t sleep w my laptop screen on ¬.¬_  
_dan: threatening to go get parents so i better crash :’(_  
_phil: D’: D’:_  
_phil: yeah that’s fine_  
_dan: ilu so much! miss you! <333_  
_phil: get some sleep!!_  
_dan: talk to you tomorrow abt 2/3pm ur time?_  
_phil: love you too! <33333_  
_phil: yh sounds good! i’ll be around!_  
_phil: have fun in India!! tell the elephants *elephant noises* for me!!_

Dan’s already gone offline by the time Phil sends his last message, but he hopes Dan will appreciate it in the morning. They barely managed to talk for five minutes, but Phil feels so much better for it, for knowing that they won’t have to go two weeks without talking more than anything. If he’s ridiculous to miss Dan this much then at least they’re both ridiculous together, which is possibly his favourite thing about Dan in general. 

24 hours before they can talk again. Phil starts counting down.

**17/11/2011**

Dan sighs, staring at the bright light of his phone screen in the dark. He’s in his university dorm room for once, having told himself - and Phil - that he’d start on his first piece of coursework tonight. He’d said that at 2 in the afternoon, dragging himself from the comfort of Phil’s sofa to a more productive working environment - aka his prison cell - and now it’s 2am. He hasn’t written a single word, doesn’t even remember the title.

Dan sighs again, hits send. If Phil’s up, he’s up, and if not he can laugh at Dan in the morning.

_is it stupid that i miss you?_ Dan reads back, scoffing at himself as he does so. _of course it is_ he starts to type, then sees that Phil is already replying.

_phil <3: miss u too!_  
_phil <3: think i forgot how to be away from you /o\ /o\_

Dan grins, biting his lip. _me toooo_ he types. _trying to get to sleep but im too cold :(((_

_phil <3: awww <333 ilu!! cold here too :(_

Dan rolls his eyes at both of them, still grinning, hits _Call_ and brings the phone to his ear.

‘Remember how we used to live 200 miles away from each other and see each other at most once a week?’ Dan asks, barely letting Phil get through his greeting.

‘How did we do it?’ Phil whines, and Dan lets himself giggle at how pathetic he sounds, knows Phil won’t mind.

‘I don’t know, but I never want to have to do it again,’ Dan replies firmly.

‘Are you not going home for Christmas then?’ Phil teases.

‘Nope, I’m staying with you forever,’ Dan grins.

‘I wish,’ Phil says, and Dan can hear his smile, can see Phil’s exact expression in his mind’s eye, closes his eyes to pretend it’s in front of him. Maybe like this, he can get to sleep.

**3/04/2012**

_we just had waffles and i miss you_ Dan reads, phone still buzzing in his hand as he checks it after walking the dog, a chore he’d actually missed from living at home.

_is it stupid that i miss you?_ comes through barely a second later, and Dan can’t help but think that they’ve had this conversation already, though maybe that’s the point.

_we live together, u spork, i’d hope you’d find sth odd after not seeing me for 5days when u normally see me literally every second._ Dan sends, then rethinks.  
_or maybe it’d be a relief, idk. don’t tell me that._

_Phil: never a relief!!_  
_Phil: idiot._

Dan rolls his eyes, chuckling to himself as he heads through the lounge, smiling briefly at his family before sitting down to focus on his reply. _i literally came to my parents bc i missed u too much at home, u know that right?_ Dan bites his lip, hits send before he can rethink.

_Phil: awww!! <33_  
_Phil: u awful sap_  
_Phil: that’s pathetic + i’m laughing at u, fyi._

Dan grins, not doubting for a second that it’s true. _did it make u miss me more??_ he checks.

_Phil: ..._  
_Phil: yes_  
_Phil: D: D:_

Dan laughs again, relaxing back into the sofa and pulling his feet up.

‘Glad to see the dog walk put you in such a good mood,’ his dad says.

‘Yeah, it was really nice actually,’ Dan smiles, looking up. He’ll let Phil work on a retort for now.

‘So it’s not your phone making you smile now then?’ his mum teases, and Dan rolls his eyes.

‘Maybe it’s both?’ he suggests, though it’s mostly Phil. Either way it seems to please her, but his brother rolls his eyes and sighs pointedly, having apparently had enough of Dan talking about Phil roughly an hour after he’d come home. Dan’s tempted to kick his leg, gently, but Phil’s messaging him again, and that’s probably for the best.

**24/09/2013**

‘I’m going to be at the airport for 79 years,’ Phil moans immediately after picking up the phone, forgoing a greeting.

‘I saw,’ Dan laughs, having seen the evolution of Phil’s flight crisis on twitter. ‘Do you have any idea when you might get a flight now?’

‘Not the foggiest,’ Phil says, giggling under his breath at the pun.

‘Phil.’ Dan says firmly. ‘Phil, that was awful, I am ashamed of you.’

‘Oops?’ Phil replies, not sounding sorry at all.

‘You’ll only anger the fog gods and keep yourself trapped at Heathrow for longer, you know,’ Dan says sensibly.

‘I don’t think I could possibly anger them any more than I apparently already have,’ Phil points out, and Dan concedes the point with a hum.

‘Is it stupid that I miss you?’ Phil says abruptly, taking Dan by surprise.

‘I mean, a little,’ Dan replies, though he’s smiling. ‘It’s been what, six hours?’

‘I said before, it’s worse when you’re far away. That’s what it is,’ Phil says. ‘It’s perfectly reasonable with the distance.’

‘Phil, Heathrow is literally like 30 miles from our flat, I don’t think that counts,’ Dan laughs.

‘I think it does,’ Phil insists. ‘And I had no one to eat the surprise cheese in my side salad, it was very upsetting.’

‘Oh no, how did you cope?’ Dan asks, still laughing.

‘I glared at it so much someone asked me what was wrong,’ Phil admits, and Dan just laughs harder.

‘Well I had no one to eat my cereal this morning, it was wonderful,’ Dan teases once he’s regained his breath.

‘Rude,’ Phil replies. ‘Tell me you miss me.’

‘I miss you,’ Dan rolls his eyes, voice filled with sarcasm. ‘I played Mario Kart and there was no one to laugh at or insult, it was awful.’

‘Good,’ Phil sounds pleased, and Dan almost wishes Phil couldn’t see through him quite so well. ‘That was all I wanted, I feel much better now.’

‘That’s... good?’ Dan questions.

‘Yep, better go see what’s going on with flights now, sacrifice some cereal to the fog gods for me!’ 

‘Of course I will,’ Dan laughs. ‘Love you, good luck figuring out flight stuff!’

‘Love you too!’ Phil signs off brightly, and Dan puts his phone down, shaking his head. How much caffeine has Phil had?

**13/04/2014**

‘Is it stupid that I missed you? Like, on the show,’ Dan clarifies. ‘It didn’t feel right to do it without you, even when you were right there on Skype.’

‘You know that’s not stupid,’ Phil replies, shifting the laptop as he leans over to pick up his drink. Dan can tell that he’s in the lounge of the Florida house, looking out through the French doors towards the beach, even though he’s never been there himself. ‘I hated not being there, I’m really-’

‘You can’t control the weather, Phil,’ Dan points out, talking over him. ‘You don’t need to apologise.’

‘Still, you did a great job on your own, I wouldn’t have liked it either,’ Phil says.

‘Missed you in the fucking taxi on the way home,’ Dan admits freely, just to see Phil laugh. He hadn’t quite expected to be making Phil's brother laugh, too, but sees that he has as Martyn comes to stand behind Phil’s shoulder.

‘Hi Martyn,’ Dan greets, fussing with his hair. He’s half laid down in Phil’s bed, and he knows he looks awful, but hadn’t thought anyone else would see him. Still, there’s not much he can do about it now.

‘Hi Dan,’ Martyn smiles. ‘Can’t imagine anyone missing this terror,’ he ruffles Phil’s hair, making him squawk. ‘As far as I can tell he spends all his time on his phone or laptop talking to his boyfriend, absolutely useless company.’

‘That does sound awful,’ Dan laughs, resisting a blush. ‘He should really socialise with his family more when he’s with them, I’m sure his boyfriend would cope fine, that’s dreadfully antisocial.’

‘Well I’m not sure which of the two of them is most needy, actually, it’s pretty sad,’ Martyn teases.

‘Alright, fuck off,’ Phil mutters. ‘Just because Cornelia’s here with you. You must be talking to her ten times more than I’m talking to Dan!’

‘Oh, I’m not sure about that,’ Martyn laughs. ‘I seriously do have to steal you away for tea though, sorry,’ he grimaces apologetically at Dan.

‘Oh, that’s fine,’ Dan says airily, waving a dismissive hand. ‘I was getting bored of him anyway, you’re doing me a favour.’

Martyn laughs again and leaves them to say goodbye, sounds from the rest of the family filtering into the lounge and through to Dan now he knows to listen for it.

‘I do miss you, so much,’ Phil says, uncommonly serious.

‘Yeah, I miss you too,’ Dan replies softly. ‘I’ll try to stop stealing you away from your family, though, you know I don’t need you to reply immediately.’

‘Yeah, but I like to,’ Phil insists, and they sit in silence for a moment, neither wanting to go. ‘You should come next year,’ Phil says, quiet but firm.

Dan closes his eyes briefly, ‘Yeah. Yeah, I should.’

They’re interrupted by another call for Phil, from his mum this time, saying he can sit Dan down at the table if it’ll make him come quicker.

Dan grins at the idea, but can’t imagine anything more awkward. ‘Go on, go eat, I should probably go to sleep anyway.’

‘Yeah, okay,’ Phil smiles back. ‘Love you, don’t get caught up in too deep a Wikipedia wormhole!’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ Dan protests. ‘Enjoy your meal, say hi to your family for me. Love you!’

Phil waves a final goodbye and Dan sits there for a moment, staring at his blank screen. Next year.

**17/06/2015**

‘Hello?’ Phil sounds slightly concerned as he answers the phone, and Dan can’t blame him, given that he’d waved goodbye to his taxi not two hours ago.

‘It is stupid that I miss you?’ Dan asks, taking another step away from the BBC crew for good measure.

‘Daaaan,’ Phil draws his name out, feigning exasperation, but Dan can hear the laughter in his tone. ‘I saw you less than two hours ago, yes, that is pathetic. I thought you were going to say your flight was cancelled, or you’d forgotten something and could I take it to the airport for you.’

‘I forgot you,’ Dan replies, deliberately childish, just to hear Phil try to stifle a giggle. ‘The last time I was at the airport was for Japan.’

‘Okay, we’ve been to New York and Florida since then,’ Phil points out, quite sensibly.

‘There’s a flight to Tokyo on the board, Phil, and you’re missing the _point_ ,’ Dan replies, feigning irritation.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, what’s the point?’ Phil asks, not even pretending that he isn’t laughing at Dan.

‘I love you,’ Dan says simply. ‘Also we’re pathetic, because I know you miss me too.’

‘I’m watching Buffy, I don’t miss you at all,’ Phil says haughtily.

‘Alright, Mr ‘I haven’t seen you in 10 hours’, sure,’ Dan scoffs.

‘I still can’t believe you kept that in!’ Phil exclaims. ‘Okay, maybe I miss you a little,’ he admits, when Dan allows the quiet to sit for a moment.

‘Ha!’ Dan exclaims, satisfied. ‘We’re the worst codependent couple ever,’ he says sadly, when the reality of what they’ve both just said sinks in.

‘Hey, we’re not that bad!’ Phil defends. ‘I don’t miss you when you go to the shops-’

‘Rude,’ Dan cuts in.

‘-but this time I know it’ll be a few days. And anyway, it’s not like I was sitting around thinking about how much I miss you, it’s just always nicer when you’re here.’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ Dan agrees. ‘I mean, I’m not unable to function, I’d just like to make a few anime jokes.’

‘We’re still never telling anyone else about this,’ Phil says after another moment of quiet.

‘No, no, never,’ Dan rushes to agree. ‘Oh, I think we’re on the move again, talk to you when we land?’ Dan checks, walking back over to the crew.

‘Yeah, love you,’ Phil replies, already sounding distracted.

‘Enjoy Buffy, you fucking nerd,’ Dan laughs. ‘Love you too.’

Dan hangs up, smiling at the nearest crew member as he’s informed that they’re thinking of getting food before the flight.

‘Sounds good,’ Dan replies, picking up his stuff to join them.

‘That the ball-and-chain on the phone?’ the guy - Paul, Dan thinks - asks. ‘Can’t let you out of her sight?’

‘Er, sure, something like that,’ Dan agrees, awkward, is glad for interruption when his phone vibrates. He smiles to see a heart emoji, a dancing lady and a warthog from Phil, fires back three hearts and a frog, plus some assorted food emojis to keep Phil updated on his activities.

‘Oh, or did you call her?’ Paul asks then, apparently having been watching, but not closely enough to see a name. Still, he’s smiling indulgently, so Dan smiles back, a little sheepish.

‘Something like that.’

**Author's Note:**

> if you're curious dates stamps are:  
> 2009 - a fortnight before they first met  
> 2010 - the first day of Dan's family holiday in India  
> 2011 - a random day in Dan's first uni term  
> 2012 - Phil in Florida with his family, Dan at home with his  
> 2013 - Phil's European tour (his flight was delayed 9 hours because of fog)  
> 2014 - Phil in Florida with his family over a [radio show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2F-u7W4QSE) after his flight home was cancelled  
> 2015 - Dan going to Sweden for the gaming documentary


End file.
